Showing posts with label doubt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label doubt. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Who invited YOU!!!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. 
Proverbs 3: 5-8

Doubt...negative self talk..insecurities...fear...anxiety.....

 You are not and have never been invited to the party.

 I have four amazing children.  They are each very very different.  I have to say I am a hard mom.  I do not give my kids a lot of slack and I do not ask twice...ever.  (remind me to tell you about airsoft guns)

We home schooled the kids until we moved here to Virginia.  I loved it.  They loved it.  We had so much fun exploring and learning and growing in our faith.

But, when we moved there was a lot going on and we decided to try out public school.  This is when the D word comes in. (doubt) Being in a principals office with your four kids and saying...HI The Bates kids are here.....and getting the stares and murmurs about home schooling and not having the "right testing".  I left that day in tears.

"How could I be doing this?"  "How could I be sending my kids to school?"  "What am I thinking?"
What a mess.  But I knew we had to give this a try.  I knew that I had educated my children.  They were each behaved, well spoken, respectful kids.  They each understood exactly what was expected of them and they most importantly are fun kids.  Really cool kids.

This post could go on and on.  There is so much joy and heart ache in making such a huge transition.

 But today we are talking about the D word.  That overwhelming toss you to the curb doubt that I felt as I stood in that administrators office.  It was heavy it was dark and it was evil.

It wanted to steal everything we as a family stood for.  It want to take my Faith.  It wanted to shake the bananas out of my foundation.  It wanted to hurt me and it wanted me to give up.

So ya know what we did .

We showed up.

I stayed on the administration.  I went higher when I had to.  I brought Moon Bear with hubby to every meeting.  We stood together on our foundation of God, and family and we never wavered.

I was not a popular girl.  I was talked about.  I was ..I am sure very interesting conversation for awhile.

I was and still am an expert on my children's education and I made demands.

My kids did not understand the system.  There was a learning curve and after a couple of weeks they were getting the hang of it.  They had to take very remedial test and work their way up to where the classes were.  This took time but I knew my kids.

After the first year three were moved to honors and my guy that was LD (the schools like to put kids who have aspergers in LD) he was moved to honors as well.  From LD to honors.


Sooooo.....whenever the D word wasn't invited to the PARTY!!!