Loving you!!!!!

The month of October is alway full of busy busy bussell bussell around my house.

It is the beginning of six months of birthdays.  My dad, brother and oldest girl are all in October and of course there is Halloween.  We just love Halloween.

What I don't love is the weather.  As you know I was born and raised in Michigan.  I played and worked and ran and went to school in the freezing weather.  It was cold but it didnt bother me too much.  But then I went south for Spring Break and ohhhh man.....the flowers in February sold me.  I was going to be a southern bell and lucky me happen to find my hubby at Michigan State who happen to be heading to Atlanta....LUCKY DAY!!

What I do like about moving farther north is the fact that I get to wear great clothes.  Sweaters, long dusters, and boots....I LOVE BOOTS!!  So it is a trade off.  Now dont  judge me when you see photos of me in full layers and it is 50 degrees....that is WINTER ladies...in my book.

And what else happens in October....you got it ladies..Breast Cancer awareness month.  Now settle in cause there is a story comin...and it is funny and scary all wrapped up in one.

When I was in my early 20's I had a scare.  The annual girl doctor visit did not go well and I needed to get an ultra sound and a mammogram.  This is not something you think about in your 20's.  It isn't even on the radar.  I was living in Atlanta, Georgia and didn't have my mom to lean on.  

Now here's the thing.  No one likes to go to get a breast exam..partially if  it is not routine.  But no one tells you the details.  OMG!!  ladies!!  LADIES LADIES!!  Tell the young ones what to expect......

HOLY COW....it hurts!  This is not to deter....NO WAY!!.... It is just fact....if you are in the itty bitty club like me....MAN! They are going to find tissue and I mean from your collar bone to get a good scan.  Your eyes will water and you will hold your breath.....and see stars.

I would like to report that after four kids this fact has not changed not a little itty bitty bit.  Still scary..still like being run over by a truck with the tread marks to prove it...but this time...I got a flower and chocolate....

Now these treats were not lost on my sick humor...cause it kinda reminded me of an old boyfriend....

Truth is.....sometimes..love hurts...but dont skip your annual exam....love yourself...I sure do.

BLessings!

Soul scrubbing.....

It is hard to believe that one minute you can be super super happy and the next ill with disappointment.

The kitchen remodel was going great....
I was so very happy with all the work and the way it was turning out.

But there was this little voice saying that something was just not right.
 Ya see.
 During the demolition the guys found some blue cakes of stuff under the counters.

 Weird....how did it get there?  

What was it?  

Why was it built into my counters?

As the work continued I was on the phone and my mind was in a million places...like usual..( i need to get that looked into..)  And it hit me......blue nasty stuff under counters....rat poison.

I should have thought of that sooner.  It is really a no brainer.  But who does that???

Why would you do that???  Who did it??  Oh man!!

I felt sick.

And then the worst part.  I started looking for blue caky stuff.  Down on my knees pulling drawers completely out and there it was.  Six more.................Oh NO!!!  Not my kitchen!!

When the counters came off the nasty stuff fell behind the drawers up against the wall.  Some of them broke apart and splattered my dishes.

I am a strong girl.  I can and have faced a lot.  But this was over the top.

I grabbed the kids and we hit the store.  We bought lysol, rubber gloves, trash bags, paper towels, masks and some new dishes.

My "bigs" ( big kids) hit it hard......scrubbing scrubbing scrubbing..and SCRUBBING!

I felt good about it.  But there was one more wall of cabinet to check...............

By this time I had called in backup.  My sweet friend Emily.

She said..No biggy lets just check out the other cabinets.

Now we were both armed with gloves and flashlights.  No signs......phew....

Until we looked up...........the blue nasty was squished and running down the inside of the cabinet.

It was 10am and I opened a bottle of wine.

Emily joined me in scrubbing and drinking.

When hubby came home...........I cried.

For some crying is not an event.  But for me...........it is.

I want to move.
My house has not felt like mine since we moved in two years ago.
I have painted, fluffed, replaced, redone...and it still doesnt fit.

Hubby is amazing he said yes.
But we had a vacation coming up.  We decided to use the time to think and pray and regroup.

The scrubbing of the soul..............

This is best done in a sweet little town in Michigan at my cousin's house.
Fresh air, sweet moments with family an plenty of wide open sky. Oh and lots and lots of kittens.

These little ones eyes had not opened yet....The sweetness of the mass of fluff makes me remember that I am not the one in control.  God knows what I need.  He knows where He needs me.  Even when I cant see the plan He has me covered, snuggled down deep in cozy warm grace.

Give the soul a good scrubbing...............God has a plan...

blessings