The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo…..

Have you seen that movie?  I try to keep an open mind on all movies, but I am a girl meant to watch G rated Disney flicks or Pride and Prejudice , these keep my attention.
I watched TGwtDT with a group of friends.  One of the gals choose it.  I tried to stay and watch the whole thing…I did not want to offend  them.  NOPE!  After the kitty was..well..you ..knOw..I was out!



I was recently reminded of this misunderstood main character.  I felt so sorry for her and yet she was a BaDa$$.  She took care of herself and she was smart.  Her appearance was scary.  Her piercings , her hair, her tattoos.  Sets up a certain image that sends a very define message…stay away!  DANGEROUS!


When I see kids with piercing and crazy hair I tend to think the same thing.  I get an image in my head about who the person is.  I judge them.  Not something I am proud of, but it is true.  I assume they have a drug issue a bad family life and no way are they still in school let alone a good student.  Maybe this is showing my age.  Maybe I am too republican.  Maybe it's just what I have experienced.

AnD then…my beauty dyed her hair blonde…Cute..stylish..edgy.
She has always had her own style.  She wears combat boots and knit hats ,that her grandmother makes her.  She gets good grades..AP classes , Honors classes and is an amazing big sister.

AnD then….she dyed her hair purple…now that was a punishment.  Our rule is natural colors…But it was still really cute…kinda like Elsa…from Frozen.


AnD then…she got a septum piercing…that nose ring that looks like a bull ring..not as cute..but I dont see it anymore and she can turn it inside when she goes to work or when I ask her to…this is my least fav of her self expression moves..but it isn't permanent.

That is the key…NOT Permanent.

October 11, 1996……do the math


Yep…big 18th bday is right around the corner…..

AnD then….the girl with the tattoo……………….Crap.


Friends…I am lost on this one.  My first instinct is heck no.  A choice like this is for the rest of your life.  What about jobs?  What about what other people will think about you?….pause….

Did you see what I just said…What about the judgement that the World is going to place on you.? What about the fact that people are going to expect a certain behavior from you based on what you look like?  What about making your way easier?  Clearing the path for success without placing obstacles in your own path.  Swimming up stream sucks.

Then again…she is 18.  She is a good girl.  She has done everything we have required of her.  At what point to I challenge my own paradigm? 

The energy that I have put into this is boarding on obsessive.  I have three other children and a husband.  My bandwidth is getting used up on this one topic and on this one child.  Sounds horrid?  Maybe….or maybe its the truth.   We can get used up….worn down.


We have talked about the cost and the placement.  There are no secrets.  But what we have not done is said no.   Not that we dont ..alot.  But, this one is personal.  She is an artist.  When her grandfather asked her why she wanted a tattoo.  She said "Because art is a part of me.  I can not think of a better way to honor that part of me , then to have it entwined with my body." 

OK then……………

October 11, …..its coming up fast.  

October 11,…..when do you let them fly?

October 11,…..when do you challenge yourself to not judge?

Mama Bear…..I don't care who you are..even a cub.

The moment you find out you are expecting you feel fiercely protective over your unborn child.  You eat right, exercise get rest and avoid all the things that might harm your unborn child.  This feeling does not wavier with each pregnancy.  My four precious people are all very different.  I am just as fierce about each one of them…..

But what happens when its a fellow cub that is causing the pain.  What happens when fists fly and the fun wrestling takes on a new flavor of determination to harm,control.
Our den is a calm peaceful one.  Yelling is not something we do.  It is Summer so there is less scheduled time and more of a chance to get under one anothers' skin or to play leisurely board games….in my mind, that is.

But I digress……

My teen boys enjoy gaming and they share….most of the time.  However, on this rainy evening I got a note under my office door.  It said "The boys are attacking each other and it doesn't look good." Grace.
(imperative to have a spy at all times…reward them well…)

Once I came upon the scene the damage had been done.  One cub was out walking in his garden talking to his tomato  plants and the other was tearing at the computer but not wanting me to see.
It was over a girl….a virtual one but a girl on a server none the less.  Tempers flared and big cub took the small younger one to the floor with a arm hold and made sure he understood who was in charge.
After talking to each and getting the full story we all ate dinner…..I believe it is import to clear my head before I launch into a "coaching moment".

Moon Bear and I lightening the mood before we excused the girls from the table so we could talk with the boys.
After letting each of them explain the situation and each one getting their chance to be heard.  They were both punished for not walking away and calming down or coming to get adult help.
And then….I got angry.

I had no idea how impactful this next few moments were going to be, but parents!! use this!!  It was amazing!

"If you ever lay a hand on my kid again. " "I promise you that you will feel the same pain and humiliation."  "He is mine! and you will never do that again." 

The look on both of their faces.  One was fear…the other…pure love.
They both learned something.
Blessings.

I am not giving up….

Hello friends….
I have a secret….
I think every gal in her 40's has the same one….
Getting older sucks.
Yeap..there it is.
I can't move the same..I can't workout the same..I can't eat the same…NOthING is the Same.
Lets talk about eating.
I have done ok…I stay in the right BMI but things just don't fit right and one..just one bad weekend and nothing zips.
So…I have started Nutisystem.
Never thought I would do that.
NEVER!
The first week was a FAST 5…HAAAAAA
not so much
More like stay out of moms way or she might snap…so hungry and so cranky.
So I stopped and gave the food to  my kids…its is actually very good …just not enough of it.
Well.
The second box showed up..cause you can't cancel until you get two boxes,,, and i thought I would give it another go.
This time is diff.
I am more focused on the entire plan and the tools..like the chat rooms and the nutrition experts.
They have made all the difference.  And i lost!
Turns out I need more protein then the plan calls for…that was why I was soooo mean the first time
THe gals on the chat rooms..the moderators gave me good suggestions and it worked.
Sooo this is now week two and I am going to try very hard to stay to the plan…really not cheat and try to keep the chocolate monster at bay.
Blessings!

Girls and Guns.....In the wrong hands.

I told you I would do it...I told you I was excited..

You know that kind of excited you feel when you casually walk into your favorite store....and they are having a 70% off sale and you have a 20% off coupon!!!!!

UBER EXCITED...send a group message to your entire contact list kind of excited.

That , Ladies is how I feel about telling you about guns.

I was trying to organize my thoughts which can be difficult because my brain runs at super high speed.

 How do I want to share this part of me?

How technical do I want to get?

How will this be received?

So....I started where I always start when even thinking about shooting...SAFETY!

Can not and will not talk about shooting or carrying or purchasing or anything about guns until safety is addressed.

Story time....

I have many family and friend who are terrified of weapons.  They have every right to be.  They are very dangerous, in the wrong hands.

   IN THE WRONG HANDS!!!!!

That is the whole point of my blog today.

A gun is a tool  Like any other tool it can be misused..tragically , horrifically , misused.
I believe all guns need to be locked up.
If you think a weapon in your night stand is a good idea you are wrong.
Legally if a loaded weapon is in your house not locked up it is in your possession..and anyone else who is in your home.  Understand this...you don't have to have a gun on you to have possession of a deadly weapon.  If a crime happens in your home or if someone is in your home who has a record they are braking the law by being in possession of a weapon and they wont even know it.  An unsecured weapon is bad news....always.
BAD NEWS!!!!

Sooooo...lock them up.  But..."If someone gets into my house I need to acted fast."  Yes, you do and you can.  There are hand safes.  These are small and have a fast combination and you can have your loaded gun in two seconds.  I have timed it.  Same time it takes to open the nightstand drawer.

Here is mine.
I have two.
Well...two that I will tell you about.
Keeping one on each floor and in your safe place is ideal.

Next rule.
Never ever point a gun at anyone...loaded or unloaded.  Not only is this dumb...but it is illegal..like go to jail illegal. So dont be a punk.


Next rule.
Your weapon must always be facing a safe direction.  Like at the ground.  Or down range.

Next rule.
Never point your weapon at anything that you dont intend to destroy.

Next rule.
Keep the safety on ...until you are lined up and ready to shoot.  Red means Dead.  Thats the color showing when the safety is off.

Next rule.
Your trigger finger is your final safety. Don't place your finger into the trigger area unless you intend to fire......super super super important....Range Officers will not like you if you dont follow this.


MOST IMPORTANT
RULE!!
TREAT EVERY GUN YOU SEE....EVEN IF SOMEONE TELLS YOU IT IS NOT LOADED AS  LOADED......CRITICAL!!  YOU MUST VERIFY FOR YOURSELF THAT THE CHAMBER IS EMPTY AND THE SAFETY IS ON.
IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE DOING THIS...FIND SOMEONE WHO IS!!!

Or keep following me and I will tell you how.

Ladies...it is your Constitutional Right to own a gun.  Every friend I have taken shooting was terrified.  Shaky, pale, scared to death...terrifed.  That is until the first shot...then they were all smiles and couldnt wait to shoot again.  Guns in the right hands are a tool and a fun hobby.

SMOOCHES!!!

Take Aim...Girls and guns.

I like guns.

My close friends and family know it.  I enjoy the sport.  I always have. But I just didn't want to blog about it.  Maybe it is the heated debates that I wanted to ignore.  Maybe I just wanted to keep this one to myself.  But I cant.......I enjoy it sooooo much.

That's what changed my mind.

When I was little, very little like 40 pounds soaking wet and 8 years old.  I was afraid of everything.   I was terrified of my own shadow.  Didn't want to go to school...didn't want to meet new people...just so scared.

I tried to join sports but was so little I would get sidelined.  I met some friends in softball and volleyball but I never really played.  I wasn't good at it.   I so badly wanted to be good at something.

Having two big brothers and a competitive dad, I always felt small.  Like I couldn't measure up.  I use to tag along with my brothers to their sports and watch them play basketball and football.  

One day I went with them to BB Gun.

It was Michigan in the winter so it was dark early.  The Trenton Sharp Shooters met in my elementary school gym and that was exciting to me...it was my school after all and I was proud of that.

The gym was full of boys.  It was 1976...shooting was not a popular sport for little girls.  

One of the dads was the Range Officer and he was loud!

My brothers lined up for instruction and I took my usual seat on the sidelines.

I was so fascinated by the instruction.  It was very organized and everyone was quiet.  Everyone shot from different position.  Some kids were kneeling, some sitting some laying down.  WOW! what was this!

I kept going with my brothers every Thursday night.  Mr and Mrs Cooper were the Range Officers.  Mr Cooper would advance each shooter after testing and keep everyone safe and Mrs Cooper would score the targets.  I started helping her score the targets and became really good at it.  One day Mrs Cooper went up to the line and started shooting....what was this....maddness!  A mom was shooting!!!  She came back to our table and I was  still amazed.  She must have noticed because the next week she brought me a gun.

I was the only girl on the Trenton Sharp Shooters Team and I cleaned up!  

The fact that it didnt matter with shooting how strong you were or how fast you could run or how far you could throw. It was a level playing field and I loved it!

My brothers on the other hand...not so much.  As my medals and ribbons started adding up they started to like shooting less.  I kept at it and advanced from sitting to kneeling to prone to standing and very quickly....it was awesome...better yet...I was not as scared.

Soooo.....a very shy timid scared little girl was able to get a hefty dose of confidence from shooting.

That sums it up....with all the controversial issues surrounding guns.  I have never heard anyone talk about this angle...the sport that takes away the physical and allows people to compete in shooting right next to each other..man , woman, any age....any size.

My history with shooting has advanced ...alot!   Once married my hubby and I bought a simple revolver.  We enjoyed going shooting together.  It was a cheap hobby and we both enjoyed competing with each other.

Once we had kids the shooting all but stopped....too expensive and we wondered about gun safety.

The guns we had stayed locked up of course ... I did not bring them out around the kids.

Once the kids got older we started introducing them to the sport.  It is now a family hobby.

We love going to Michigan and hanging out with the family on the farm.  All the cousins line up and take turns......I LOVE watching the girls fire off a few rounds on the AR.

They all get so excited....so do I.

Soooo...there you have it...I have opened that door and I am stepping through...I am so excited to share the knowledge I have gained through the years and the perspectives I have on ownership.

Lock and Load Ladies!!