Respect....the story.

Lessons....

We teach our kids lessons all the time.  How to be kind.  How to be honest.  The consequences of not doing what they should have done....like homework.  These are all lessons that as adults we get..we have been there done that.

The other day I was at an auction.  It was a GREAT one!  There were pieces I really wanted and I bid to win.

Victorian dresser with square nails......the antiquity and craftsmanship is lovely

I can get kind of geeeeeked at an auction.  If you have not been....well the energy is palatable. You can taste the competition.   I talk about this obsession in one of my posts...http://joanniedoors.blogspot.com/2012/05/hunt.html

Dont worry...I am not going to add more layers of paint...this guy needs to be stripped..cant wait to see what is under all that paint.

There was a sweet little victorian dresser that had great lines.  It was heavy and it needed me.  As I marked it I heard a conversation in hushed tones behind me.  I tried to ignore it but it was hard too because it was about me.

each drawer has a lock and key............sigh

The little dresser was at auction because a family was liquidating their grandmothers estate.  There was a gal on the phone from across the country who despiritely wanted that dresser.  She remembered it from when she was a child and could not bare to think of it being sold at auction.

This is how you know you have an old piece....always check out the back....thick solid barn type blanks....

I froze.    All these treasures were obviously someones at one time.  That is the whole point.  The idea that things can be repurposed and reused and loved again.  But the heartache...the memories that are infused into the table that you had tea at with your beloved grandmother.  The dresser that held the hand mirror that belonged to your mother.  This is real ....the stories are inside of each piece.  They maybe dusty or covered in layers and layers of old paint...but the stories live on in the treasures and in the hearts of those that loved them before.

Dove tail.............stay tuned on this one...it will be for sale ...Most likely $350, but I need to see how much fun I need to put into it.

I was taught a lesson at auction.....one that intuitively I thought that I knew.  But I really didn't.
So...I want to thank all those old pieces that I have repurposed and loved on....thank the folks that kept them so that I could do what I love....and thank the customers that always become friends for keeping the story going.....it is humbling and i promise to RESPECT THE STORIES......always.

Change is in the air.....

Fall is a favorite time of year for me.  The sun looks different..less intense and the colors are calming ..like things are getting ready to slow down.

Everything has a glow about it.

The kitchen is full of warm smells.  Everything seems to be getting closer, snuggly, more relaxed.

  I kiss my kids more...random hugs.  I dare say that I even linger while folding clothes...to see how much they have grown and neatly tuck their t-shirts in their drawers.  Marveling that each one of them is a gift.  ....and then I trip over the  lego box...but the moment is still precious.


This move has been an awesome gift to me.  Some moves like the last are proving grounds..we already talked about that one... but this one has landed me  in an inspired space.  My love for decorating and junking has been renewed. 


This house has a unique floor plan.  The master is on the main and I have never had that before.  It has been a challenge and I have pulled all my color mastery to determine how I wanted this new space to feel.

I am working on a color palette.  I want this house to feel like a French Cottage, relaxed and elegant.

I have had some help....and I can not wait to share with you.....

Slippery little suckers......

Oh, I wish I was a little bar of soap, bar of soap
Oh, I wish I was a little bar of soap, bar of soap
I'd go slidey, slidey, slidey over every-body's hidey
Oh, I wish I was a little bar of soap, bar of soap.

I loved that song as a girl scout.  It had a great little rhythm and it was good clean fun....haaaa, get it..clean..WOW!  

I like to talk to my kids.  They are funny, intelligent and nice to be around.  They tell me about their views on life.  How they are feeling and what they dream about.  I let them ramble...on and on.


 I have to admit.  Sometimes I dont care for the topic or what their views are on somethings.  But I listen.  I think sometimes they need to hear their own voices saying somethings out loud.  To really hear what they are thinking.  There is sooooo much more to think about today as a teenager.  

The World is smaller.  Social media brings things into their lives that we never had to deal with.  It is normal and healthy for teens to question.  They need to. 

 It is one thing for us as parents to tell them how it is and it is completely different when they experience it for themselves.  It is insanely hard to not jump in and steer them clear of pain or heartache.  But what would that teach them?  What tools would I be giving them if I always gave them the answers or prevented an outcome?  How will they learn?

This is where the slippery part comes in.  I equate raising teenagers like holding onto a bar of soap.

The harder you squeeze the faster they are going to slip right out of your hands.  Choose your battles.  Keep your heart and your head level...open.  It is too easy to squeeze them......to try and control what they feel ......and it hurts.  It hurts us as parents when our kids turn on ideals and traditions that we as parents have held.  It doesn't feel good to let them find their own way.  Its scary as hell.....

We love our kids so much that holding onto them tightly seems like what we are suppose to do.  That pushing them into the way we do things makes sense because we've already done it.  We know what works.  Its logical.  We don't want to see them make mistakes.   Mistakes.....hummmm?  Perhaps the best way to look at that is as opportunities. Opportunities to teach.  Opportunities to show by example what being a Christian looks like.   Opportunities to see that not everything is done the right way but simply "a" way.   That our kids can teach us too.

There are too many broken hearted teens that dont feel heard.  They dont feel understood, like an alien in their own homes.  The emotions that are running through our kids are valid and real.  When they say they are in love.  ITS LOVE!  When they say I am sad.  LISTEN!  When they cry...HOLD THEM!  Get into their beds and cradle those 160lb 6'2" teens......they need us....now more then ever because soon they will be slipping right out of your hands.

Back.....

I could go on about the fact that it has been FOREVER since I have blogged.


I have missed it.  I missed the cataloging of what my people are doing and how I feel about things.
I missed the therapy of writting my thoughts down.  The idea that what I am sharing just might be helping someone, entertaining them, lifting them up or perhaps filling a void of somekind.

So...lament I will not...... NOPE I will just jump into where I am at and not look back.

Georgia!!

We moved!

Hubby has taken a great new opportunity and we jumped on it.
Am I sad that I left Virginia??
Hummmmmmmmm? NOPE!  Not one second of it.  I did not like Virginia!  There it is out there.
My sisters know it.  They had to deal with me through it.  I was not all that nice to be around in The Old Dominion.  MUAHHHHHHH!


Virginia was however an incredible proving ground for me.  You know what I mean by "proving ground"?  The place where things are tested....fortified...get the kinks worked out.  That was Virginia.

I HAD to learn to be happy and to find JOY!  Not the fake kind.  I am talking about the James kind of JOY.  The "Call it all Joy!' kind of thinking.  When you are in a place you dont like you can and do make yourself and everyone else around you miserable.  I did this.   I shut down.  I lived in Phillipians. I was the pitty pitty me girl.  An.....I got called out.  My sisters called me out.  My friends that I had met were and are incredible.  They listened to me and told me I was angry.  They showed up when I wouldnt answer the phone.  They were persistent.  I love them for it!   I had to look deep....very deep into what I was doing by CHOOSING to be miserable.  Because thats what it was...a CHOICE!
Mine  ....   all mine.... to choose.... to decide... to smile.... to laugh..... to be joyfull.  To fake it until I could make it.  To trust!   YES... to trust that God had me. ......God was using me in Virginia.  God was giving me the choice.  I have to admit I choose very poorly at first.  Eventually I did come around.  Not enought to say I would move back, but around enough to enbrace the people around me.
oxxoxoxox

.............................never look back.

How will they know?

  This weekend Aaron and I were sitting in the car after a family trip for icecream.  The kids had all gone into the house and we just sat for a few minutes.  We do this when we need the cone of silence.  It sometimes makes the kids nervous because they know we are "talkin".  Many a huge decisions have been made in the cone of silence.

I asked Aaron how we knew how to be parents?  A profound question.  When growing up no one
talked about when you get married and have kids you are going to need to know how to be patient and you are going to need to be totally selfless.  There was a lot of expectations to go to college and make money but never to be a good parent.  Maybe it was assumed.  I was not raised on the Bible.  We were church going but I did not have a personal relationship with God.   So the question..."How will your kids know how to be parents?"

I am tossing this out there.  I don't have an answer.  It is concerning and scary to me that we dont talk about it openly with our kids.  Our culture does nothing to address being a good parent.  There is lots and lots of talk about not getting "into trouble" and becoming a parent too soon.  But there is nothing that shows or teaches the gift of parenting.

Some folks say that Aaron and I are too hard on our kids.  Our four have lots of chores and they do not have a lot of outside the house activities..ie sports and such.  They do a lot at home and with each other.
They are expected to watch the younger ones when needed and they are expected to do it well.  Maybe this is like on the job training for when they are parents.

I wonder.....what celebrity would make an impact on young people.  What person would be a good spokes person for parenting?  What would they say?  What would you say?

Hummm??

Double for your Trouble

This might turn out to be more of a rant than a blog post...but Im ok with that.

Ladies...(gentlemen I am not ignoring you..but there are just more gals)

Each and everyone of us has incredible talents.

 God has given us these talents and blessings to serve Him.   Every time you get into the elevator to get to your office or cube you are working towards a goal.

Every time you empty the dishwasher you are working towards a goal.

When you pick up the phone to call a friend that has been a little too quiet you are working towards a goal.

Every single day when you get up and see your babies out the door you are woking towards a goal.

It is not a goal of financial wealth or of fame.
 It is not a goal that anyone else in this world will ever see.
 It is a simple formula.
 Painfully simple.
It is about doing the right thing.
 It is about serving others and always looking to Christ.  It is about having "ground hog day " over and over again.
Not because you like to clean the kitchen (maybe you do, but not me) but because you are working towards raising children and having a nice home for them and you want to keep your eyes on the prize.

There are times when we are stopped in our tracks by what is happening to us..what someone is saying, or what someone is doing.  Mean, hurtful things that can take our breath right out of us.  Times when we are on our faces.  Times when evil is lurking and threatening our Faith.  Tests....

These tests dont just show up in small manageable doses.  They slam you to the fence with a tidal wave of circumstances.
The magnitude of the reality of our world is cruel and harsh.
How can we fight such opposition?  What power do we have?

Indeed..."What are our defenses?"

What are your defenses?

Where is your shelter?

How do you respond to the attacks?

Again...it is simple.  You do the work.

Every single day...every single moment.....every single night...you show up.
Ya see....I have been counsel to many a close dear friends.  It is a huge blessing to have sisters in Christ.  You raise one another up.  You dry tears.  You make meals.  You dig in.  You pray.

You basically ignore the bad and focus on the good.  Super simple..but soooo hard.

I have the hardest time when it comes to my kids.  I am a mama bear times a million.  I am a fierce protector.  But I can not protect them from themselves.  Two are teenagers.  They are going to make choices...ones that I might not like.  They are going to push....and test.  This makes me sooo scared.  I have prayed so many times for the days of sleepless nights and diapers.  Watching your kids learning to fly is terrifying....and ohhh sooo exhilarating.

You truly will get double for all your trouble.  Keeping your eyes on the prize.  Showing up.  Listening to the teenage stories and drama.  Making the calls.  Taking the meals.  Fighting the good fight.

 Every single day...focusing on Him.