The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo…..

Have you seen that movie?  I try to keep an open mind on all movies, but I am a girl meant to watch G rated Disney flicks or Pride and Prejudice , these keep my attention.
I watched TGwtDT with a group of friends.  One of the gals choose it.  I tried to stay and watch the whole thing…I did not want to offend  them.  NOPE!  After the kitty was..well..you ..knOw..I was out!



I was recently reminded of this misunderstood main character.  I felt so sorry for her and yet she was a BaDa$$.  She took care of herself and she was smart.  Her appearance was scary.  Her piercings , her hair, her tattoos.  Sets up a certain image that sends a very define message…stay away!  DANGEROUS!


When I see kids with piercing and crazy hair I tend to think the same thing.  I get an image in my head about who the person is.  I judge them.  Not something I am proud of, but it is true.  I assume they have a drug issue a bad family life and no way are they still in school let alone a good student.  Maybe this is showing my age.  Maybe I am too republican.  Maybe it's just what I have experienced.

AnD then…my beauty dyed her hair blonde…Cute..stylish..edgy.
She has always had her own style.  She wears combat boots and knit hats ,that her grandmother makes her.  She gets good grades..AP classes , Honors classes and is an amazing big sister.

AnD then….she dyed her hair purple…now that was a punishment.  Our rule is natural colors…But it was still really cute…kinda like Elsa…from Frozen.


AnD then…she got a septum piercing…that nose ring that looks like a bull ring..not as cute..but I dont see it anymore and she can turn it inside when she goes to work or when I ask her to…this is my least fav of her self expression moves..but it isn't permanent.

That is the key…NOT Permanent.

October 11, 1996……do the math


Yep…big 18th bday is right around the corner…..

AnD then….the girl with the tattoo……………….Crap.


Friends…I am lost on this one.  My first instinct is heck no.  A choice like this is for the rest of your life.  What about jobs?  What about what other people will think about you?….pause….

Did you see what I just said…What about the judgement that the World is going to place on you.? What about the fact that people are going to expect a certain behavior from you based on what you look like?  What about making your way easier?  Clearing the path for success without placing obstacles in your own path.  Swimming up stream sucks.

Then again…she is 18.  She is a good girl.  She has done everything we have required of her.  At what point to I challenge my own paradigm? 

The energy that I have put into this is boarding on obsessive.  I have three other children and a husband.  My bandwidth is getting used up on this one topic and on this one child.  Sounds horrid?  Maybe….or maybe its the truth.   We can get used up….worn down.


We have talked about the cost and the placement.  There are no secrets.  But what we have not done is said no.   Not that we dont ..alot.  But, this one is personal.  She is an artist.  When her grandfather asked her why she wanted a tattoo.  She said "Because art is a part of me.  I can not think of a better way to honor that part of me , then to have it entwined with my body." 

OK then……………

October 11, …..its coming up fast.  

October 11,…..when do you let them fly?

October 11,…..when do you challenge yourself to not judge?

Who invited YOU!!!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. 

Proverbs 3: 5-8

Doubt...negative self talk..insecurities...fear...anxiety.....

 You are not and have never been invited to the party.

 I have four amazing children.  They are each very very different.  I have to say I am a hard mom.  I do not give my kids a lot of slack and I do not ask twice...ever.  (remind me to tell you about airsoft guns)

We home schooled the kids until we moved here to Virginia.  I loved it.  They loved it.  We had so much fun exploring and learning and growing in our faith.

But, when we moved there was a lot going on and we decided to try out public school.  This is when the D word comes in. (doubt) Being in a principals office with your four kids and saying...HI The Bates kids are here.....and getting the stares and murmurs about home schooling and not having the "right testing".  I left that day in tears.

"How could I be doing this?"  "How could I be sending my kids to school?"  "What am I thinking?"
What a mess.  But I knew we had to give this a try.  I knew that I had educated my children.  They were each behaved, well spoken, respectful kids.  They each understood exactly what was expected of them and they most importantly are fun kids.  Really cool kids.


This post could go on and on.  There is so much joy and heart ache in making such a huge transition.

 But today we are talking about the D word.  That overwhelming toss you to the curb doubt that I felt as I stood in that administrators office.  It was heavy it was dark and it was evil.





























It wanted to steal everything we as a family stood for.  It want to take my Faith.  It wanted to shake the bananas out of my foundation.  It wanted to hurt me and it wanted me to give up.

So ya know what we did .

We showed up.

I stayed on the administration.  I went higher when I had to.  I brought Moon Bear with me...my hubby to every meeting.  We stood together on our foundation of God, and family and we never wavered.

I was not a popular girl.  I was talked about.  I was ..I am sure very interesting conversation for awhile.

I was and still am an expert on my children's education and I made demands.

My kids did not understand the system.  There was a learning curve and after a couple of weeks they were getting the hang of it.  They had to take very remedial test and work their way up to where the classes were.  This took time but I knew my kids.

After the first year three were moved to honors and my guy that was LD (the schools like to put kids who have aspergers in LD) he was moved to honors as well.  From LD to honors.


THATS WHAT I AM TALKIN ABOUT!!!  

Sooooo.....whenever the D word knocks..remember..it wasn't invited to the PARTY!!!