The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo…..

Have you seen that movie?  I try to keep an open mind on all movies, but I am a girl meant to watch G rated Disney flicks or Pride and Prejudice , these keep my attention.
I watched TGwtDT with a group of friends.  One of the gals choose it.  I tried to stay and watch the whole thing…I did not want to offend  them.  NOPE!  After the kitty was..well..you ..knOw..I was out!



I was recently reminded of this misunderstood main character.  I felt so sorry for her and yet she was a BaDa$$.  She took care of herself and she was smart.  Her appearance was scary.  Her piercings , her hair, her tattoos.  Sets up a certain image that sends a very define message…stay away!  DANGEROUS!


When I see kids with piercing and crazy hair I tend to think the same thing.  I get an image in my head about who the person is.  I judge them.  Not something I am proud of, but it is true.  I assume they have a drug issue a bad family life and no way are they still in school let alone a good student.  Maybe this is showing my age.  Maybe I am too republican.  Maybe it's just what I have experienced.

AnD then…my beauty dyed her hair blonde…Cute..stylish..edgy.
She has always had her own style.  She wears combat boots and knit hats ,that her grandmother makes her.  She gets good grades..AP classes , Honors classes and is an amazing big sister.

AnD then….she dyed her hair purple…now that was a punishment.  Our rule is natural colors…But it was still really cute…kinda like Elsa…from Frozen.


AnD then…she got a septum piercing…that nose ring that looks like a bull ring..not as cute..but I dont see it anymore and she can turn it inside when she goes to work or when I ask her to…this is my least fav of her self expression moves..but it isn't permanent.

That is the key…NOT Permanent.

October 11, 1996……do the math


Yep…big 18th bday is right around the corner…..

AnD then….the girl with the tattoo……………….Crap.


Friends…I am lost on this one.  My first instinct is heck no.  A choice like this is for the rest of your life.  What about jobs?  What about what other people will think about you?….pause….

Did you see what I just said…What about the judgement that the World is going to place on you.? What about the fact that people are going to expect a certain behavior from you based on what you look like?  What about making your way easier?  Clearing the path for success without placing obstacles in your own path.  Swimming up stream sucks.

Then again…she is 18.  She is a good girl.  She has done everything we have required of her.  At what point to I challenge my own paradigm? 

The energy that I have put into this is boarding on obsessive.  I have three other children and a husband.  My bandwidth is getting used up on this one topic and on this one child.  Sounds horrid?  Maybe….or maybe its the truth.   We can get used up….worn down.


We have talked about the cost and the placement.  There are no secrets.  But what we have not done is said no.   Not that we dont ..alot.  But, this one is personal.  She is an artist.  When her grandfather asked her why she wanted a tattoo.  She said "Because art is a part of me.  I can not think of a better way to honor that part of me , then to have it entwined with my body." 

OK then……………

October 11, …..its coming up fast.  

October 11,…..when do you let them fly?

October 11,…..when do you challenge yourself to not judge?

Mama Bear…..I don't care who you are..even a cub.

The moment you find out you are expecting you feel fiercely protective over your unborn child.  You eat right, exercise get rest and avoid all the things that might harm your unborn child.  This feeling does not wavier with each pregnancy.  My four precious people are all very different.  I am just as fierce about each one of them…..

But what happens when its a fellow cub that is causing the pain.  What happens when fists fly and the fun wrestling takes on a new flavor of determination to harm,control.
Our den is a calm peaceful one.  Yelling is not something we do.  It is Summer so there is less scheduled time and more of a chance to get under one anothers' skin or to play leisurely board games….in my mind, that is.

But I digress……

My teen boys enjoy gaming and they share….most of the time.  However, on this rainy evening I got a note under my office door.  It said "The boys are attacking each other and it doesn't look good." Grace.
(imperative to have a spy at all times…reward them well…)

Once I came upon the scene the damage had been done.  One cub was out walking in his garden talking to his tomato  plants and the other was tearing at the computer but not wanting me to see.
It was over a girl….a virtual one but a girl on a server none the less.  Tempers flared and big cub took the small younger one to the floor with a arm hold and made sure he understood who was in charge.
After talking to each and getting the full story we all ate dinner…..I believe it is import to clear my head before I launch into a "coaching moment".

Moon Bear and I lightening the mood before we excused the girls from the table so we could talk with the boys.
After letting each of them explain the situation and each one getting their chance to be heard.  They were both punished for not walking away and calming down or coming to get adult help.
And then….I got angry.

I had no idea how impactful this next few moments were going to be, but parents!! use this!!  It was amazing!

"If you ever lay a hand on my kid again. " "I promise you that you will feel the same pain and humiliation."  "He is mine! and you will never do that again." 

The look on both of their faces.  One was fear…the other…pure love.
They both learned something.
Blessings.

I am not giving up….

Hello friends….
I have a secret….
I think every gal in her 40's has the same one….
Getting older sucks.
Yeap..there it is.
I can't move the same..I can't workout the same..I can't eat the same…NOthING is the Same.
Lets talk about eating.
I have done ok…I stay in the right BMI but things just don't fit right and one..just one bad weekend and nothing zips.
So…I have started Nutisystem.
Never thought I would do that.
NEVER!
The first week was a FAST 5…HAAAAAA
not so much
More like stay out of moms way or she might snap…so hungry and so cranky.
So I stopped and gave the food to  my kids…its is actually very good …just not enough of it.
Well.
The second box showed up..cause you can't cancel until you get two boxes,,, and i thought I would give it another go.
This time is diff.
I am more focused on the entire plan and the tools..like the chat rooms and the nutrition experts.
They have made all the difference.  And i lost!
Turns out I need more protein then the plan calls for…that was why I was soooo mean the first time
THe gals on the chat rooms..the moderators gave me good suggestions and it worked.
Sooo this is now week two and I am going to try very hard to stay to the plan…really not cheat and try to keep the chocolate monster at bay.
Blessings!